Panda Sex
So I was watching the Discovery Channel the other day, and there was this piece on panda bears in zoos, and all this research that's going into why they won't fuck each other. I'm paraphrasing here but the scientist or professor or something, lets just say the highly educated guy that is leading the research and who served as information source for the story said something like this, "in the wild they reproduce at about the same rate as other bears, but for some reason, in captivity they seem to lack the drive to reproduce." As I sat there I tried to wrap my mind around what I was seeing and why scientific and financial resources were being devoted to studying why any intelligent living breathing being would lose their sex drive after being forced into captivity and surrounded by fake plastic trees only to be gawked at by hordes of snot nosed children and lost elderlies of an alien species for hours on end day after day. If any of you idiots who commissioned the study are reading this, it's you. It's the very people who want the pandas to screw that are draining their sex drive. Ironic, a bit, but it's true. So just stop it. You want a panda that sits on the couch all day eating cheesy poofs and watching tv, put it in a zoo. You want a panda to act like a panda, put it where pandas generally live and let it be.
