I've just been introduced to a new(to me) genre of.. comedy? blogging? commenting/reviewing? Nestled in the many customer reviews for various amazon products there's a growing number of people taking the time to brilliantly and backhandedly give their helpful reviews. My favourite for the book "The Secret", the author Ari Brouillette has written a few others, click here to see them.

1,385 of 1,406 people found the following review helpful:

The Secret saved my life!, December 4, 2007

Please allow me to share with you how "The Secret" changed my life and in a very real and substantive way allowed me to overcome a severe crisis in my personal life. It is well known that the premise of "The Secret" is the science of attracting the things in life that you desire and need and in removing from your life those things that you don't want. Before finding this book, I knew nothing of these principles, the process of positive visualization, and had actually engaged in reckless behaviors to the point of endangering my own life and wellbeing. At age 36, I found myself in a medium security prison serving 3-5 years for destruction of government property and public intoxication. This was stiff punishment for drunkenly defecating in a mailbox but as the judge pointed out, this was my third conviction for the exact same crime. I obviously had an alcohol problem and a deep and intense disrespect for the postal system, but even more importantly I was ignoring the very fabric of our metaphysical reality and inviting destructive influences into my life. My fourth day in prison was the first day that I was allowed in general population and while in the recreation yard I was approached by a prisoner named Marcus who calmly informed me that as a new prisoner I had been purchased by him for three packs of Winston cigarettes and 8 ounces of Pruno (prison wine). Marcus elaborated further that I could expect to be [...] raped by him on a daily basis and that I had pretty eyes. Needless to say, I was deeply shocked that my life had sunk to this level. Although I've never been homophobic I was discovering that I was very rape phobic and dismayed by my overall personal street value of roughly $15. I returned to my cell and sat very quietly, searching myself for answers on how I could improve my life and distance myself from harmful outside influences. At that point, in what I consider to be a miraculous moment, my cell mate Jim Norton informed me that he knew about the Marcus situation and that he had something that could solve my problems. He handed me a copy of "The Secret". Normally I wouldn't have turned to a self help book to resolve such a severe and immediate threat but I literally didn't have any other available alternatives. I immediately opened the book and began to read. The first few chapters deal with the essence of something called the "Law of Attraction" in which a primal universal force is available to us and can be harnessed for the betterment of our lives. The theoretical nature of the first few chapters wasn't exactly putting me at peace. In fact, I had never meditated and had great difficulty with closing out the chaotic noises of the prison and visualizing the positive changes that I so dearly needed. It was when I reached Chapter 6 "The Secret to Relationships" that I realized how this book could help me distance myself from Marcus and his negative intentions. Starting with chapter six there was a cavity carved into the book and in that cavity was a prison shiv. This particular shiv was a toothbrush with a handle that had been repeatedly melted and ground into a razor sharp point. The next day in the exercise yard I carried "The Secret" with me and when Marcus approached me I opened the book and stabbed him in the neck. The next eight weeks in solitary confinement provided ample time to practice positive visualization and the 16 hours per day of absolute darkness actually made visualization about the only thing that I actually could do. I'm not sure that everybody's life will be changed in such a dramatic way by this book but I'm very thankful to have found it and will continue to recommend it heartily.

Here's another reviewer MTV Rocks who's been reviewing some pop music. click here to see their other reviews. This is MTV Rocks reviewing a Van Halen album,

7 of 56 people found the following review helpful:

Crappy guitar playing for posers, April 11, 2005

I can't believe people listen to this junk. This lame hair crap was never cool. There's a reason the great musicians you see on MTV don't dress or look like this. Anyway, the guitar work sucks. This Van Halen thinks he's so great. People say he pioneered a so-called "technique" (a REALLY bad one) called "two handed tapping" or something. When was the last time you saw great guitar players like Avril Lavigne, Ashlee Simpson or Kurt Cobain use this "technique"??? Never, because - like Van Halen - it sucks. This song "eruption" or whatever the hell it is, is nothing more than amateur wannabee guitar playing. Now for REALLY good guitar playing, check out the aforementioned artists. However avoid losers with guitars such as: Van Halen Andres Segovia Allan Holdsworth Eric Clapton Steve Vai Joe Satriani Megadeth (especially Marty Friedman) John McLaughlin Paco De Lucia John Petrucci BB King Al De Meola Jeff Beck Yngwie Malmsteen Greg Howe Chet Atkins Michael Romeo Robert Fripp

And Finally there's this http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00032G1S0/. The product: A 1 Gallon jug of Tuscan Whole Milk, there's more than 1000 reviews for this product and all the ones I got through were great, not to mention the customer images of cows udders, and a guy on a bicycle with a fridge tied to the back.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 8th, 2009 at 11:25 pm and is filed under Anti-Idiocy, Other Idiots. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.