Went to the market to buy some peas and vegetables and some other stuff for the house when I ran into a rather uncomfortable cabbage named slender. And she was like I stick my head in freezers sometimes. Who knew, {!Who knew!} and then I zoomed through the checkout and sped home. There I was standing still, just me and the freezer and the infinite possibilities. So I did it; opened the door and forcefully tore out a shelf or two and tossed it somewhere out of the way. I gripped both sides of the frame with both of my hands and stuck my face in. I have to admit it was cold and after what could have been 2 or 3 hundred minutes I still didn't quite see the point. I mean yeah it's hell-a refreshing but after getting my tongue stuck to a couple things—almost permanently, I think it'll be a while before I try this again. And I'd like to remind you also that one of the things on one of the shelves I tossed aside in the initial mayhem was a 25 gallon tub of soy ice-cream. Granted I finished more than half the tub during the last American Presidential debate but still there's just a huge mess in my kitchen right now and I really don't want to clean it up.

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