I get this sick feeling when I think about how much time I've wasted in my life, and how it's not slowing down but speeding up. It's like someone knocked over my glass and the water's spilling out in a big wash.

On the other hand I did just eat a family-sized microwaved ready-made macaroni and cheese in 20 minutes. Let's say it's 50/50, I'm still partially convinced it's the time thing.

Everyone knows what dogs are all about whether you have one, play with them at the park, talk to them on the street, or eat them, but little is known about the common goat. Goats have many benefits over dogs that you probably don't know about.

As pets you can do everything with a goat you would with a dog and more!

For example:

• You can ask your goat to make milk for you without making things awkward around the apartment.
• You can climb steeper escarpments than with a dog, if you're a modern housewife who walks up steep inclines for the challenge every other morning with your gal-pals a goat may be the perfect pet.
• Most goats will come mountain climbing with you, while free climbing could be a bit difficult for the average goat some enjoy the challenge.
• You can grow beards together.
• You can share your couch potato time with a goat, and have drinking contests to see which one of you will eat the most awkward thing laying around the house.
• Unlike dogs, most goats will let you create an online identity for them, as goats are not afraid of being "stuck" in the internet. Just think how many hours of fun you and your goat will share when you strap a gps enabled iphone to it's back and have it's location update on twitter every 20 minutes, and how much you'll bond while filling out it's facebook profile together and decide which applications express it's true personality.

There are a few cons to having a goat:

• Some goats will refuse to climb with you unless you both have the proper equipment. These overly cautious goats can be got on the cheap cause nobody wants them. The upside is that many goat retailers provide discounts on your goat if you choose to bundle it with mountain climbing and other goat related safety equipment such as big sunglasses, motor-bike hemlets, and pants.
• Goats will eat everything in your apartment. When you're sober, this won't be funny.
• Goats have a mean temper. I know a guy who's goat tried to smother him with a pillow in his sleep.

It defies logic completely. If you have a big belly, specifically if your belly extends past your arms reach then you can't do a push-up. It's a physical impossibility. I feel as though unless there's some strange fact about large bellies like they squish to the side when you lie on them, the people that own these big bellies should have skinnier arms.

So how do these big fat people have big fat arms?? If anyone has the answer let me know cause I am stumped.

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Nobody I want emails from sends me emails with subjects like yours mr./ms. spam email sender. It’s not hard to tell which emails are spam. So WTF spammers, just quit it already. I almost got a virus today from you and you suck.

What is an idiot blog? All over the internet there are personal blogs, political blogs, even wine and dinner blogs..

THIS is my idiot blog.

I am allowed to be a complete idiot here and no one can say anything to stop me, although if you want to say something you can and if you’re so inclined you can attempt to stop me, or convince me to stop, give up and write normal-sane-rational things about normal-sane-rational topics, but this is an idiot approved zone, demilitarized from your poignant sense of sense—which on this blog is like a ticking clock rattling down a small staircase in the back of a truck driving 115mph on the freeway just before smacking into a thick brick wall that shouldn’t be there in the first place, but was erected to fight the rising gas prices at 2am the previous night when traffic was less intense.