On A Birthday
You can't only celebrate life once a year, that's what the government wants, for you to get it out of your system and then go on watching tv and remaining a calm, non-disruptive individual.
The time it takes for the earth to gravitate around the sun is not justification for celebration unless you're excited about the fact that every year we get a little closer to that fiery ball in the sky. [Orbiting is the same as falling if you don't have a means of propulsion]. How CAN anyone be excited about that, unless they've done the calculations that the sun will burn out and/or explode/black-hole-ify before earth impacts and are planning a scheme to lure all the people and things they don't like onto "that" side of the earth. [the side that gets squished, cracked, or in the case of a black hole.. noodle-ified first].
Also the "Happy Birthday" song is owned by a subsidiary of AOL/TIme Warner, meaning they can sue you and win if you sing it at someone's party.. UNLESS you sing it in parody or only sing a small portion of it that's unrecognizable.. either way you should videotape it cause the awkwardness of a sarcastic happy birthday song, sung acapella to your bed-ridden grandmother in the 'home' could be funny later when you watch it on youtube after uploading it.
